Daniel Chae (DMTN) - Admit Your Crime, Do Your time

Imagine That: Daniel's hush-hush Court hearing for his marijuana scandal happened at the beginning of August,
                          Bianca's avoidance behavior not-withstanding. The Court decided to hold each trial separately.
                          After fully admitting his guilt, Daniel is sentenced to three months in Jail. He thought he wasn't 
                          allowed to have visitors, but after a month of good behavior, his members are granted special
                          permission and they bring you along, the secret girlfriend he'd left behind.

    Lying on the mattress he'd been given just over a month ago, the hard foam-coated shelf of steel that barely qualified as a bed, Daniel's mind spins around the same thoughts that have been consuming him since March. He'd really messed up this time. His world was so fragile; in some ways, public opinion ruled over his very existence and t certainly dictated his future. And yet, he'd practically been taunting Fate to play him a bad hand.
    This whole marijuana thing . . . he'd known it was illegal, he'd known that it was wrong, but his friend had asked and he knew a guy and a friend of a friend had made good on a deal. It had all been so simple, and Daniel had loved the feeling of helping out a friend who'd asked a favor of him. With DMTN's ridiculous schedules, having normal relationships, making and maintaining any sort of friendship outside of the members was next to impossible.
     He'd been so happy to be able to do something for his friends, friends he'd made outside of his members . . . but he'd been so stupid to think that it would work out alright. Yet, even now, lying on this hard palate and staring up at the same ceiling he'd been staring at for a month . . . Daniel can hardly bring himself to regret it. He does, he deeply regrets it, but he also keeps making excuses for himself inside his head.
      There's a narrow slit at the top of one of the bland concrete walls in his cell, it lets in a shaft of natural light from the late afternoon sun. Looking at the bright glass of it, Daniel can almost imagine what his members would think of a day like this, were he not currently in prison. The others had their schedules, but since they weren't actively promoting a comeback on the music scene, they would have had a few hours to spend out in the sun, goofing off in the park. They wouldn't have too long though, as practice happened regardless of their current status in promotions. They had hours of dance and vocal training to get through, in preparation for whenever their next release would slated for creation.
       Daniel's Company Advocate had told him that 2Works was thinking of having the members promote individually. Daniel knows that it's just a strong front the Company is putting on. The Dalmates aren't a big enough or strong enough fanbase to be able to support solo promotions, and 2Works isn't a big enough company to take the loses. He'd probably ruined his members' careers, he'd at least killed their chances for success in the next four or five years. All because he had been a selfish, greedy, attention whore; still is, he thinks, if he's honest with himself.
      Right now, he's dreading the moment he'll have to face them. He knows they're coming to see him this afternoon. Since he'd left the dorm at the end of March, he'd hardly even seen them, he'd even missed Dari's military discharge. 2Works had been keeping him off the radar to the point that even the few friends he did have were starting to become strangers to him.
      "Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty."
      Inati's voice wake Daniel from his daze. He lifts his head to stare out between the bars on his door. Inati smiles weakly at his expressionless face. Daniel smiles back with the same air of exhaustion. This is more than the ache after a hard practice, this is the feeling of being tired of living this life at all. It's the tired after years and years and years of effort and of having it all be taken to mean nothing after a single misstep.
     Pulling himself to his feet as the door is unlocked, Daniel looks quickly between his bandmates' faces. Their expressions are drawn with the same tired resignation as Inati's. They don't hate him though, at least not openly, and Daniel thinks that's a plus he doesn't deserve. And then he sees you, pale and worried and hidden behind the bulky forms of his band mates.
     Daniel's eyes flick to Inati's face, stepping closer the moment the door's open enough to permit the movement. "Yah, Jang Intae," he says, provoking the Leader with his real name to communicate the serious level of his concern. "What the hell is she doing here?"
      You hear the words plain as day despite his whisper. Already looking at your shoes, you bite your lip to keep your anxiety quiet. You'd known he hadn't been thinking of the stress it would put you through when he'd gotten caught, but you had hoped that he had missed you in the months that had passed since you'd last seen him. Apparently not.
       Inati's response is quick and cold, "You owe her something, at least. You've put that girl through Hell. We can forgive you, but she shouldn't have to."
      "You think I don't know that?" Daniel's quiet hiss barely reaches your ears, hiding in it are the pent up emotions he's barely begun to let himself think about.
      "You have forty-five minutes," booms the guard who had escorted the civilians to Daniels cell. Since Daniel isn't a violent criminal and the civilians had already been searched, the guard steps away to give the young people some privacy. From the charged atmosphere, he thinks they have a lot to talk about.
       There is an awkward reunion with Dari, this is the first time since his military discharge that Daniel has had more than a moment to say anything to him and all that comes of it is an awkward hug and some poorly judged hard-life jokes. The others shuffled about awkwardly until they'd managed to surreptitiously push you to the front. The only reason you notice is that you'd been trying to figure out how to run away; now that you were here, coming seems like it had been a bad idea.
      All of a sudden, you're alone with him. Daniel's gaze shifts from glaring at his members over your shoulder, to staring at the floor where it disappear under the rightmost wall. You're staring at his shoes. You watch his weight shift between them and then as they abruptly step away from you. 
      Daniel crashes down heavily on his bed, his back to you and his head hanging between his knees as his heels hook over the edge. You can see the tension in his shoulders, his taught muscles pulling together in distinct discomfort. Your own shoulders sag as the weight in your stomach flips over.
     "You shouldn't have come," he says quietly, as if he can feel your eyes fall away from him.
     You reply quietly, forcing your voice steady. "I wanted to see how you've been."
     "You shouldn't have come."
     "I'm glad I did," you say, surprising yourself. Your realize it's true though and explain, "You look good. Thin, tired, and very troubled, but you look good. You still look like you."
     Daniel's bitter laugh is is only reaction. You move to sit on the far side of his bed as your legs begin to feel so weak you can't imagine they'll keep supporting you and as you sit you say, "It's true. These past few months . . . I've been second guessing myself, wondering who on earth I'd fallen in love with and how could I have seen this coming and who on earth you really were . . . but, you look like you; like the you I remember you being."
      As you stare at your lap while you speak, Daniel looks you over. You're paler than he remembers, and thinner. Your make-up isn't quite as polished as he remembers, your perfectionism has been suffering under the stress of having a boyfriend in prison.
     "You're still the person I fell in love with," you finish, looking up just in time to see him look away.
     His hands ball into fists. His head falls back between his knees, hanging in defeat. "You should find someone else," he tells you.
     You were right about your knees not supporting you. Now it feels like the rest of your bones are slowly melting away within you, like their strength will continue fading until you become an immobile blob at the end of Daniel's bed. "You want to break up with me?" you ask, a quiet tremor in your voice.
     "Don't you?"
     Shaking your head even though he can't see, you feel tears begin to prickle at the corners of your eyes. "Not for one second," you tell him quietly. "Not for one second during all your ridiculous schedules, or the sneaking around, or your crazy fans, or your sexy photoshoots and flirting and everything else it means for you to be an Idol . . . not for one second of it have I wanted to break up."
      Daniel is watching you again, you can feel his eyes searching your form for answers. He doesn't believe you. He'd always thought, from the moment you'd gotten together, that you would eventually realize that you deserved better. Having you see him like this, at the lowest point he'd ever hit, should have been enough to make that realization happen.
      Looking up suddenly, you meet his eyes. They're brown and warm like you remember, and dark with a deep concern for you and your well-being and happiness. Even with everything he puts you through, he really loves you, and you can see it in him on rare moments like this. As awful as everything is right now, seeing how much he cares for you makes it all worth it.
     "You deserve so much better," he tells you, but he can see your renewed resolve. He can see the love in you, the affection you have for him, just as you see his concern for you in him. He sees that his cold shoulder act had fooled you, but he'd ruined it at the last minute, that you're relieved to see he's still human, still the sweetheart of an up and coming Idol that you'd fallen for.
     "I know. But I want you," you tell him, peeking up at him as your head lowers slightly. You can't tell if your ashamed or begging or just scared. "If you want me to have better than you have to make yourself better, because I want you."
     Daniel's hand is suddenly cupping the side of your face and his forehead is pressed against yours. "I am so sorry," he tells you, promising, "I never wanted to put you through any of this. I never even wanted to put your through dealing with my schedules.I am so, so sorry."
     "I know."
     You close your eyes as he pets your hair, letting him slowly accept his selfishness in letting himself feel close to you. He doesn't know how to be a good person, let alone a good man. He wants to be one that can make a girl like you proud to love him. He can't understand that you already think he is one.
     "You shouldn't have to wait for me."
     "I'm going to anyway."
     Daniel's hand pull you closer to him, his arms enveloping you. Yours move to hold him close as well. "I might hurt you again."
      "You'll make it up to me eventually."
      "I don't want you to settle for someone like me."
     You smile slightly, falling into the familiar pattern of an argument that had never settled between you. Sometimes you're on the end of the undeserving, and sometimes he is. There's only ever been one way to stop the cycle of guilt and worry. "Daniel," you say quietly, "Shut up and kiss me."
      His lips are against yours before you even finish the command.

                                                       Finite.