So. September's big backslide resolved into a solidly successful October. I rounded out the month with 25,055 new words written, but it's about 3k more than I got in June, which is when I started to feel like my recovery was at a positive turning point in rebuilding after my absolute collapse at the end of last year. I'd had that little relapse in May, but I'd gotten through it and was getting better.
September was a combination relapse / huge world event distraction issue, so I felt alright with where I was despite the keen awareness that it could, at any moment, tip into something worse. And the start of October was terrifyingly close to that Bad Ending tipping point. I'd gotten my homework in, which gave me a decent buffer in terms of word count, but I'd only managed by the skin of my teeth and hadn't written so much as an email without direct supervision and dire necessity prompting it... So, I was worried.
But I kept trying.
Getting up, going to work, doing the readings for class, writing the essays, and sending the emails...
And then something happened to prompt me to go on a musical research bender: I had a comparative cultures / effects of Imperialism assignment from class, and had to work 2 very different events that weren't so different after all. Did you know that Irish / Scottish reels (both the music itself and the practical function of the dances within communities) bear a startling resemblance to the music and dance-functions of communities across the Hindustani regions of the Near-East and Asia? Because I didn't, but now I do and for two solid weeks I got to investigate that, the reasons behind it, and the practical takeaways of it.
While that was happening, Halloween was approaching.
I LOVE Halloween.
The freedom to dress up extravagantly for days on end with exactly ZERO negative consequences hitting within the Establishment system? Bloody BRILLIANT.
AND I got a day off, a legitimate day when no work, school, or family obligations (or disagreements) tainted my mood or impinged my activities. Which happened to, almost magically, coincide with a party being thrown my one of my dearest friends.
I was listening to MUSIC again, and I got to play in COSTUME again, AND I had time enough to rest and breathe that I had the energy to go be SOCIAL.
And then, while driving out to the middle of nowhere farmland VA where my friend lives, I had a spooky playlist going on Spotify. I'd only managed to make myself do it because it was misty and the leaves were gorgeous and I was on twisty roads and all dressed up like a glittery, magical pirate... and that deserved a suitable soundtrack, but I hadn't personally curated one in years and listening to an old playlist would just make me sad about the present state of my life... So, Spotify.
And one of the songs in that list was Paranoid by Palaye Royale...
And that changed everything.
It's been a long damn time since I've gotten hooked on a new band. Too fucking long...
But now I am and it's magical and, GUYS, I've got a STORY to work on now, and original fiction story that might actually go somewhere. It's only been 3 days yet in November and I've already written as much, in that story alone, as I had during the entirety of September across all my projects.
September was a combination relapse / huge world event distraction issue, so I felt alright with where I was despite the keen awareness that it could, at any moment, tip into something worse. And the start of October was terrifyingly close to that Bad Ending tipping point. I'd gotten my homework in, which gave me a decent buffer in terms of word count, but I'd only managed by the skin of my teeth and hadn't written so much as an email without direct supervision and dire necessity prompting it... So, I was worried.
But I kept trying.
Getting up, going to work, doing the readings for class, writing the essays, and sending the emails...
And then something happened to prompt me to go on a musical research bender: I had a comparative cultures / effects of Imperialism assignment from class, and had to work 2 very different events that weren't so different after all. Did you know that Irish / Scottish reels (both the music itself and the practical function of the dances within communities) bear a startling resemblance to the music and dance-functions of communities across the Hindustani regions of the Near-East and Asia? Because I didn't, but now I do and for two solid weeks I got to investigate that, the reasons behind it, and the practical takeaways of it.
While that was happening, Halloween was approaching.
I LOVE Halloween.
The freedom to dress up extravagantly for days on end with exactly ZERO negative consequences hitting within the Establishment system? Bloody BRILLIANT.
AND I got a day off, a legitimate day when no work, school, or family obligations (or disagreements) tainted my mood or impinged my activities. Which happened to, almost magically, coincide with a party being thrown my one of my dearest friends.
I was listening to MUSIC again, and I got to play in COSTUME again, AND I had time enough to rest and breathe that I had the energy to go be SOCIAL.
And then, while driving out to the middle of nowhere farmland VA where my friend lives, I had a spooky playlist going on Spotify. I'd only managed to make myself do it because it was misty and the leaves were gorgeous and I was on twisty roads and all dressed up like a glittery, magical pirate... and that deserved a suitable soundtrack, but I hadn't personally curated one in years and listening to an old playlist would just make me sad about the present state of my life... So, Spotify.
And one of the songs in that list was Paranoid by Palaye Royale...
And that changed everything.
It's been a long damn time since I've gotten hooked on a new band. Too fucking long...
But now I am and it's magical and, GUYS, I've got a STORY to work on now, and original fiction story that might actually go somewhere. It's only been 3 days yet in November and I've already written as much, in that story alone, as I had during the entirety of September across all my projects.
 | So. Goal-wise in October, I did alright. I managed to post my Vampire Essay as promised. And I did update more than 1 of my fanfics. I only did exactly 1 more than 1, but 2 is factually and qualifyingly more than 1, which officially meets that goal for October. And then last, but not least, October was just plain BETTER. SO. MUCH. BETTER. So yeah, October was successful. |
I'm in the best place, mentally, than I've been in a helluva long time, and that is something to celebrate.
For November, I've got a project investigation on the evolution of Sub-Cultures in relation to the forces of reification and resistance to the Ideological State Apparatus and I'm using the rise of "Glitter Punk" (and Emerson Barrett of Palaye Royale's 'Glitter Slut Pirate' schtick) and my focal point / main case study.
I've also got that original fic project that I'm working on and WILL be posting chapters of up here for Patrons Only. And there's the Star Wars fanfics that I will also be posting at least 2 new chapters of for readers on Ao3.
Hopefully, I'll also be posting a new one for Patrons here, but Patrons are already so far ahead of Ao3 that I'm not sure that's plausible just yet.
Additionally, I'll be doing some work on a new Podcast / YouTube thingy! I'm not quite sure I'll be able to record / edit enough to actually post anything in November, but I'll almost certainly be able to post something solid by mid-December (for Patrons, at least).
My writing goals for the month are nebulous in terms of word count.
I'm already at the level I'd set as my minimum, but I'm still very wary of putting the pressure of too-high expectations on myself...
Still, I'm gonna set the bar pretty high and say that my previous default of at least 50k in newly drafted work is gonna be my minimum.
My reach-goal is 75k.
Which would have felt absurd to me even a week and a half ago, but now feels entirely doable.
We are edging into Holiday Season, which is always hard, so we'll have to see what happens but I'm hopeful. SO hopeful. So much more hopeful than I've been in... well, really since I even started actively plugging this Patreon account at all...
I hope you guys are doing alright and I want to say a sincere and heart felt THANK YOU for sticking with me through this stretch of low points and pitifully inadequate content creation.
I want you to know will be personally thanking all of you by email in the coming days! Because you mean SO freaking much to me.
You have no idea how significant it has been to my mental state to think that there are people out there who believe in me enough to actually spend money on asserting that I'm worth supporting, regardless of how nominal the contribution might seem.
It has meant the WORLD to me.
So, THANK YOU. For everything.
And I hope that your November goes even better than mine has gone thus far!
<3 <3 <3
For November, I've got a project investigation on the evolution of Sub-Cultures in relation to the forces of reification and resistance to the Ideological State Apparatus and I'm using the rise of "Glitter Punk" (and Emerson Barrett of Palaye Royale's 'Glitter Slut Pirate' schtick) and my focal point / main case study.
I've also got that original fic project that I'm working on and WILL be posting chapters of up here for Patrons Only. And there's the Star Wars fanfics that I will also be posting at least 2 new chapters of for readers on Ao3.
Hopefully, I'll also be posting a new one for Patrons here, but Patrons are already so far ahead of Ao3 that I'm not sure that's plausible just yet.
Additionally, I'll be doing some work on a new Podcast / YouTube thingy! I'm not quite sure I'll be able to record / edit enough to actually post anything in November, but I'll almost certainly be able to post something solid by mid-December (for Patrons, at least).
My writing goals for the month are nebulous in terms of word count.
I'm already at the level I'd set as my minimum, but I'm still very wary of putting the pressure of too-high expectations on myself...
Still, I'm gonna set the bar pretty high and say that my previous default of at least 50k in newly drafted work is gonna be my minimum.
My reach-goal is 75k.
Which would have felt absurd to me even a week and a half ago, but now feels entirely doable.
We are edging into Holiday Season, which is always hard, so we'll have to see what happens but I'm hopeful. SO hopeful. So much more hopeful than I've been in... well, really since I even started actively plugging this Patreon account at all...
I hope you guys are doing alright and I want to say a sincere and heart felt THANK YOU for sticking with me through this stretch of low points and pitifully inadequate content creation.
I want you to know will be personally thanking all of you by email in the coming days! Because you mean SO freaking much to me.
You have no idea how significant it has been to my mental state to think that there are people out there who believe in me enough to actually spend money on asserting that I'm worth supporting, regardless of how nominal the contribution might seem.
It has meant the WORLD to me.
So, THANK YOU. For everything.
And I hope that your November goes even better than mine has gone thus far!
<3 <3 <3
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